Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Too Intelligent?

When Someone Is Labeled As Being Too Smart

Socially Awkward Situations When People Feel Talked Down To

When Someone Feels Talked Down To:
• How to respond to people saying you make them feel talked down to. A useful & somewhat humorous inquiry. Researching how some people try to bring down others for being too intelligent.
• People want to connect and not feel talked down to. 
• Intelligent or not, being perceived as arrogant is also unpleasant.
• People interpret things the way they want.  Two people in the same situation might be excited and the other feel talked down to. It is awkward to tell a person who feels trodden upon that they are the one who chooses to feel inferior is something only in their head.
• How do you handle these issues? Here are equalization methods that might work. Keep a sense of humor as you read on.

Strategies: How Not To Make People Feel Inferior
• Calm down.
• Speak more slowly.
• Show you listen: People with fast mental processing skills are often deemed as non-listeners.  So repeat back what others said to show you really listen.
• Give more credit to others in group projects even if they did less than you.
• Love: Show you like people.  Find it in yourself to like people.
• Be kind and trustworthy. Let others see you as one they can count on, instead of being one to fear.
• Flattery: Give other people kudos. Don’t over do it.
• Simplify things so others better understand.
• Recognize When Others Are Upset: Spot body language cues like glazed eyes, glancing at the watch or picking at fluff on clothing.
• Frame your opinions of others in positive or neutral ways. E.G. instead of saying "John is a bad customer service agent," say, "I've noticed that Carmen seems to struggle to connect with people in customer service."
• Humor: non sarcastic humor. Silly humor deflects stress. Even put yourself down a notch showing your human like others.

Bring Yourself Down A Notch.
Use To Help Equalize Things. May however backfire if others are the type to use this against you:
• Showing vulnerability in public is actually a sign of strength
• Laugh at yourself when you make a mistake
• Put Yourself Down: A tricky thing that often backfires.  “I don’t know how to get more done and increase profits in a shorter time period without sometimes upsetting you.”
• Dumbing down often works. Many people unconsciously turn off their brains to better conform to others to avoid being labeled a derogatory term related to superior or genius. Sadly, women in male dominated societies often dumb themselves down.

Useful Quotes For The Equalizer Effect:
• “You’re right.”
• “I admire you in _____. I can learn a lot from you in that area.”
• “I love learning from you.”
• “You are so clearly gifted in that area.”
• “I’m proud of you. That takes an incredible amount of forethought, etc.”
• “You handled that incredibly well.”
• “What do you think?”

Famous Quotes On Superiority:
• “Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.” Arthur Schopenhauer
• “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt

When Others Just Don’t Get It & You Have Only Five Minutes Left:
Frustration fuels the flames. It’s easier to bridge matters when there’s time to afford patience. Consider these difficult possibilities:
• Have a good person take charge of the situation.
• Resume the subject when nerves have calmed down. People listen better when not angry.
• This is very important.  You may not solve the world’s problems but the writers here aren’t smart enough to have figured this one out. Even little bits will help. What have you found to work?

Researching Perceived Arrogance.

Further research in this field is much needed. Web search the below topics. Useful terms and phenomena:

Psychological Traits:
What Might Be Ascribed To Those Who Consider Themselves As Feeling Superior (real or imagined):
Boasting, intolerance of criticism, egocentrism, egotism, and lacking empathy. Also exaggerated entitlement, envy, grandiosity and narcissistic.  Perfectionism, micro managing in the sense that those being micromanaged can feel looked down upon. Also self-esteem self-righteousness and superiority complex, and vanity.

Being Talked Down To - Common Phrases: How those being talked down describe the awkward situation:
• Talk to me, not down to me.
• You’re conceited.
• Terms like: arrogant, you feel inferior, or you are talking down to me. Belittling. • You’re not respecting me. Feels like you are very condescending.
• You think you’re better than me.
• I don’t like the way you talk down to me.

Search Terms:
• (superior OR inferior) AND ("dumbing down" OR "dumb down")  AND (“inferiority complex” OR “feel inferior” OR “treated as inferior” OR “superiority complex” OR arrogant OR conceited OR “talk down to” OR “too intelligent” OR “feel smarter” AND inferior OR “feel better” OR equalizer OR “level playing field” OR “make equal” OR psychology OR fear OR lift OR "stop making people feel inferior" OR “feel stupid" OR jealous) AND (“feel better” OR quotes OR “them feel smarter” OR alleviate OR “call me superior” OR “me arrogant” OR “me conceited”) AND (quotation OR quotations OR phrases OR “tell them” OR say OR “sound bytes”)
• What not to search: –A.I. -“artificial intelligence” -“no one” -consent

Tentative Conclusions On Creating More Harmony:

Best Known Website For People Perceived As Too Intelligent Or Too Creative:
Website for creative minds adapting to a less than creative world.  The site is about how to balance “being too creative for others” with adapting to the local mindset. www.MagicalGenius.Org Join Creative Philosophers Club, part of Mensa in Solano County 707 427-6443. Kindly share your ideas with the free group, or post constructive suggestions on this blog.

Love Is The Answer: Superiority is after all a mind construct. While people have different skills, everyone has something to teach us. Difficult questions usually can be found through compassion. A genius without compassion is missing out from the magical side of life. After all is said and done, love is the answer.

1 comment: